My Memories are of You
by Cloverheart14
Summary: Snape is on the brink of death, and he is reliving all of his memories with Lily. Not for LilyxJames lovers. You will want to break something.
1. Chapter 1

My Memories are of You

I fall to the cold, stone floor, breathless and scared. The distant words barely reach my ears before the snake bites into my neck and my crimson blood begins to flow out. "_Kill, Nagini."_

I begin panting, crying. The tears hurt when they come out of my red, swollen eyes. Voldemort says something that I don't pick up, and leaves the shack. Then the boy comes in. The boy that I've hated since he was born. The boy that I defended against Dumbledore, despite my hatred. The boy that I developed a grudging respect for, showing him my worst memory in his fifth year. He kneels over me, and all I see is his eyes- her eyes. Your eyes, Lily. Every time I look at Harry Potter, I feel like crying. His eyes are the exact same as yours. I realize that Pensive water is flowing out of my eyes. Then I remember. He needs to know. "Take it… take it…" I manage to say. Harry puts a flask under my eye, and fills it to the brim.

I'd always heard that your memories flash before your eyes right before you die. My memories are just of you, Lily. I close my eyes and let them begin.


	2. Chapter 2

The day I met Lily Evans was a bright, sunny day. I'd been watching her before this, and right away, I'd known she was a witch. Flying off swings, making flowers grow in seconds, stuff like that. That day, as I crouched behind a group of bushes, I decided to say something to her.

I watched Lily fly off a playground swing, her red hair like a superhero's cape, shining like fire in the bright sunlight. I smiled as she giggled excitedly. My smile faded as the other girl, her sister, I assumed, yelled at her for being a witch, although she didn't know that was the case at the time. I winced, seeing a tiny bit of hurt flicker in Lily's green eyes before her lively expression returned to her face. I hated how Muggles thought that witches and wizards were freaks just because we're not like them.

Lily plucked a flower from the bush I was crouching behind, and I ducked down, my heart pounding. When she walked away, I resumed my uncomfortable position and watched her make the flower's petals open and close like it was breathing. Lily's face was bright with pride.

"Stop it!" her sister yelled.

"It's not hurting you." Lily's voice was sad, disappointed. She dropped the flower on the ground.

"It's not right. How do you do it?" Lily's sister's tone of voice had changed to longing. This was my chance to explain, to introduce myself. I sprang out from behind the bushes.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" I asked softly. Lily's sister screamed ran to the swing set, where she cowered behind a tree. Lily jumped, but remained where she was. Heat pulsed through me as I looked at my feet. I never should have done this.

"What's obvious?" Lily asked curiously. I raised my head. I hadn't ruined the moment. I lowered my voice, not wanting Lily's sister to hear.

"I know what you are," I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"You're- you're a witch." Lily looked shocked and insulted.

"_That's _not a very nice thing to say to somebody!" she said loudly, turning to leave.

"No!" I yelled. I couldn't let her go.I ran over to where she was standing with her sister. "You _are_! I've been watching you for a while. My mum's a witch. I'm a wizard. There are lots of us, and there's nothing wrong with it."

"Wizard!" Lily's sister laughed coldly. "_I _know what _you_ are! You're that Snape boy!" she spat my name like it was a curse. "They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told Lily. "Why have you been spying on us?"

"I haven't been spying!" I defended myself fiercely. "Wouldn't spy on _you._ You're a Muggle." I winced at what I said. The Muggle girl didn't know what the term meant, but she'd figured out it wasn't good. I realized it didn't improve Lily's impression of me, but it was too late to say anything. She had turned away and ran off after her sister.

_Why did I have to say that?_ I thought. _I can never get anything right. I planned for so long and I've ruined it. _I sighed and, in my anger and frustration, sent a storm of leaves flying around. The loud, fluttering noise caused Lily, almost invisible on the dark horizon, to turn back for a second, and then disappear after her sister.

The next day, I came back to the park. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I couldn't resist watching her. I'd grown attached to Lily, despite what had happened the previous day. I sat in full view by a tree, but neither of the sisters noticed me at all. I sort of liked being invisible for once. Where I'd lived, people were like Lily's sister, treating you like a freak if you were even a little bit different. So, needless to say, I was an outcast. I was famous there- but not in a good way.

I watched Lily fly out of a tree and telekinetically break a branch from the tree that she'd jumped from. She laughed playfully, but Lily's sister- "Tuney," I heard Lily call her- started the previous day's argument for the umpteenth time. Then, the blond-haired girl ran down the small hill that the playground was on, threatening to tell her mother, and then stopping and spitting out the same word that so many Muggle-borns had heard throughout their childhood: "Freak!"

"Tuney" then ran down the rest of the hill and disappeared in the distance. Lily, genuinely hurt, sat down on a park bench. From behind the tree, I heard her begin to cry. I knew that I wouldn't exactly cheer her up by appearing, considering what I'd said to her and her sister the day before. But I had to do something. Cautiously, I revealed myself to her.

"Your sister doesn't understand," I said to her. She looked up, afraid, and it dawned on me that I was being a little creepy. But I couldn't turn back now.

"You! Go away! I don't want you here!" she hissed.

"I- I'm sorry for insulting your sister the other day," I muttered. I sat down on the bench. "There's nothing wrong with being a wi-"

"STOP IT! STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Lily yelled, pushing me off the bench. I stood up shakily and hastily brushed the dirt off my clothes. "I'm just a freak. Tuney's right," Lily said bitterly, beginning to cry again.

"You're _not_ a freak Lily," I told her emphatically. She looked up.

"How- how do you know my name?"

"I heard you sister call you Lily," I quickly explained. Then changed the subject, hope sprouting up again. "You're going to get a letter saying that you've been excepted into Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. It'll probably come by owl."

"You're not making this up, are you?" Lily suddenly asked me in hushed voice.

"No. I'm not."

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"I'm Severus. Severus Snape. I'm a wizard," I said. Lily made room for me on the bench. I sat down and began.


	3. Chapter 3

Lily and I sat by a river in a thick clump of trees. Small, faint rays of light reached the leafy ground, but besides that, it was dark. Still, I could see that Lily's eyes were wide.

"There are four Houses," I told her. "There's Slytherin- I'm probably going to be in that one-, where the cunning, ambitious people go. Some Slytherins are cunning and ambitious in a bad way. They use their skills for evil. You have to be careful. But, others have great futures," I added quickly, making sure Lily didn't take the description the wrong way. "Then there's Ravenclaw," I continued. "They're really smart. And then Gryffindor, and they can be sort of big-headed sometimes, but anyway, they're supposed to be brave. And the last one is Hufflepuff, where everyone else goes."

My dismissive voice made Lily laugh. I still remember that moment clearly like it was only yesterday. I always loved her laugh.

"The Ministry of Magic can punish you if you do magic outside of school, though. You get letters."

"But… I _have_ done magic outside school!"

"We're all right," I assured her. "We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But one you're at school, and they start training you, then you've got to be careful." I nodded matter-of-factly.

Lily paused. She picked up a stick and absentmindedly twirled it around in her hand. She dropped the stick abruptly and leaned in towards me.

"It _is_ real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying. She says there isn't a Hogwarts. But it _is _real, isn't it?" Lily's voice was serious.

"It's real for us. Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me," I told her.

"Really?" Lily was whispering.

"Definitely."

"And will it really come by owl?"

"Normally it will. But you're a Muggle-born, so someone form the school will have to come and explain to your parents."

"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?" Lily's eyes were full of worry.

I hesitated, looking over her face. My mother had acted like it was a bad thing. But how could it be?

"No. It doesn't make any difference," I said.

"Good." Lily relaxed.

"You've got loads of magic," I continued. "I saw that all the time I was watching you…" I trailed off, seeing that she wasn't listening. Lily was sprawled out on the ground, looking up at the thick, leafy canopy, and the sunlight streaming in through the cracks.

"Severus?" she asked. I gave a tiny smile as she said my name.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school-" she sat up.

"They wouldn't give you dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff! They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban-"

I was cut off by a rustling from a clump of bushes behind a tree. Lily's sister appeared.

"Tuney!" Lily said happily. I sprang to my feet angrily.

"Who's spying now?" I yelled. "What d'you want?"

The girl glared at me, her mind clearly racing to think of something mean.

"What's that you're wearing?" she sneered, pointing at my large, dirty shirt. "Your mum's blouse?"

_How dare she?_ Without thinking, I made a branch fall and hit "Tuney" on her shoulder. She began to cry.

"Tuney!" Lily called as her sister ran away. She turned to me. "Did you make that happen?" she challenged me.

"No." _I didn't mean to! _My heart was racing.

"You _did! _You hurt her!"

"No- I didn't-"

Lily glared at me and ran after her sister. I sank to the ground, my head in my hands.

I came to our meeting place the next few days, but Lily didn't. After a week I gave up. I got my letter, and my mum was delighted, but my father stormed off. They argued over whether to let me go, and though my mum won, her heart didn't seem in it anymore. I ran, my eyes filling with tears, to my meeting spot with lily. I stood, leaning against a tree, crying.

I didn't hear her coming until she was right behind me.

"Sev?" she asked softly. I turned, on the defensive, until I saw it was Lily. I relaxed.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah- I'm fine," I muttered.

"No, you're not," she said. I saw in her green eyes that she was concerned.

"It's just my parents. I got my letter, and my dad doesn't want me to go, and they fought… and I just…"

"Oh, Sev…" Lily whispered. A few tears fell on the forest floor. Lily's eyes flickered towards them, then back to me. Without speaking, she hugged me. She let go, and I smiled.


End file.
